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Like That Full-Time Makeup Artist, Even Barbara Walters Can't Make Michelle Obama Look Good


    I take no pleasure-well, maybe a little-in what I’m about to say, but I’m fed up with the ridiculous and endlessly repeated attempts to enlist sane Americans in the Obama cult of the personality. 


    The occasion for this rant is Barbara Walter’s declaration of Michelle Antoinette Obama as THE MOST FASCINATING PERSON of 2009 on her “Ten Most Fascinating People of 2009” show. A couple of questions are probably occurring to you right now: What? Fidel Castro, a murderous dictator who Ms. Walters also finds “fascinating”, wasn’t in the running? How long will it take the network executives who air this drivel to figure out why their ratings are going down faster than Tiger Woods’ latest conquest?


    But I digress. Back to our subject. Michelle Obama the most fascinating person of 2009 …I can totally see that, if by “fascinating” you mean bitter, race-obsessed, and just generally repellant.  The announcement was accompanied by the predictable, nauseating and obligatory pronouncements about her “confident style,” her great beauty, and her--wait for it--arms.pastedGraphic.pdf


    This moronic and pointless show (yes, I still watch so you don’t have to) featured the following unbelievable exchange, slated on screen as, and I am NOT making this up, as you can see from the screenshot below, “Michelle Obama’s ‘Revenge’ The Story Behind Her Arms,” between the superannuated, self-important simpleminded news reader and the First Klingon (my comments in red, link to video here--the arm thing starts at about 1:55:


BW: Can we talk about your arms?

MO:My arms? Why certainly!

Why would you want to talk about my arms?

(Gee, I don’t know to avoid discussing anything that might actually matter to anyone?)

BW: Do you feel pressured to have great arms? Do you have to get up every day and do the exercises? I'm glad you wore a sleeveless dress. (slobber slobber)

(Yeah, Barb, thanks for reminding me to do that. Otherwise, what would we have to talk about. How many stories about my vegetable garden can you do? Besides, the weather sucks right now, so no garden photo ops, darn it!)

MO: My personal routine hasn't changed much in the past 11 years. I mean I really started after I had Malia, our oldest and some of that was in all honesty sort of…um…a little revenge because I'm married to a man who has worked out all of his life, and regardless of how busy he is, he finds the time to work out  and there was a point when I got a little resentful of that.

(Fortunately, I told Barack that if didn’t want to be on the receiving end of an Elin Woods-style golf club smack down, he had better get his skinny rear end

 in gear and pull the right strings to get me a no-show, 6-figure gig so I would have to time to work out as much as he could. Who does he think has been raising his two brats while he’s been galavanting all over speechifying and politicking?)

So, you know, if there's anything I can attribute these arms to, it's probably just determination (annoying nervous laugh)


Good Lord! Are you hearing this foolishness? I know that as the Grand Dame of ABC’s weekday socialist hen party “The View,” Barbara has demonstrated her complete inability to reason her way out of a paper bag, but this is ridiculous. I am endlessly amazed by these “serious” journalists who don’t have the slightest intellectual curiosity about the contents of the health care bill we are being asked to swallow against our will, but are obsessed with the physical attributes of the objects of their affection. Whether it’s Lynn Sweet wanting to follow Barack Obama into the locker room, or BW drooling over Michelle’s very ordinary arms, it never ends. Geez, as the expression goes, get a room! More important, how about the First Klingon? This woman can’t even talk about exercise without mentioning being resentful! She is an endless font of seething rage, and even when her PR flaks like Ms. Walters try to paper over her bitterness by asking idiotic questions about her arms, she can’t help but let it ooze out. 


    Barbara Walters, Chris Matthews and other slobbering members of the Lame Stream Media. You guys quit gushing over Michelle Obama’s arms, which are quite unremarkable, particularly for wealthy women with over 20 staff members to do their bidding so that they have plenty of time with their personal trainers, and I won’t mention the one physical attribute she has that is very exceptional and substantial, the only thing larger than her sense of entitlement, which you will notice in this video. I will also refrain from pointing out her huge, frightening teeth, which are reminiscent of Godzilla. Even her full-time makeup artist can’t do much to cover up what nature did to this woman. I mean, it’s a brush, not a wand. Any of you thinking of sending me one of those “it’s so unattractive and so beneath us to make catty remarks about her appearance” notes, or something similar, please don’t waste your timepastedGraphic_1.pdf. I’m sorry if my pointing out what is obvious to the sighted I offends your prissy sensibilities. Maybe you should enter the Miss America contest. Better yet, drop a note to Ms. Walters, telling her that Michelle is more like one of the most Fascist people of 2009, or any other recent year, along with that phony empty suit she’s married to.  Instead of telling me to be nice and refrain from stating the obvious, write to Babs and suggest that some of us, those with functioning eyes, don’t appreciate being held down and force fed, like one of those foie gras geese, this foolishness about Malignant Michelle’s being the second coming of Jacqueline Kennedy, particularly when it’s being done to distract us from the destruction of the country we grew up in. This beast stomping all over the planet with her ginormous feet clad in $1000 boots and $600 sneakers and the rest is not beautiful, is not graceful, is not a fashion icon, and the only thing fascinating about her is her ability, one that she shares with her husband, to enchant, even hypnotize, guilty white liberals, so that they are rendered blind to what is right in front of their eyes; that is, her terrifying physical appearance, and her more terrifying, anti-American philosophy and their plans to shake down productive citizens for the reparations that they view as essential to redress all the unfairness inflicted on humanity by the United States. Maybe it’s just me, but when I see her, I keep thinking about her lecturing us thusly:


“The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more."


    Who do you think she means by “someone,” who is going to give up something up? As she, her husband and their merry band of Marxists work to “remake” America, and herd you, and your family into Medicaid alongside the “someone else” can “have more,” namely illegal aliens, bums, beneficiaries of “Barack’s stash” and the other victims of this mean country, do you think they will join you? Will she forego “date nights” and Parisian shopping sprees? As for that “revamped” education system, will Sasha and Malia be enrolled in it, or will they stay in their cushy private school while democrats deny poor DC children scholarships to escape the public school gulag demanded by teachers’ unions? I’ll leave the answers to you. Too bad Babs didn’t ask the brilliant Michelle about that.


    I can admire a well-toned set of triceps as well as the next person. The Gym Goddesses and I pride ourselves on our awesome arms; however, no matter how nice the arms, I can’t help but notice that they are attached to a person who presents herself as a just-plain-folks Mom-in-Chief when the reality is that she is not only a second-generation Chicago patronage pol, but an unpatriotic angry affirmative action beneficiary with a huge chip on her shoulder hell-bent on “remaking” my country.


    So, LSM, please stop telling this risible fairy tales about her great beauty to try to distract us and I won’t mention her physical appearance anymore. Let’s both stick to her policy ideas, which are still fair game. Deal?


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